A guide for parents and teachers who are subbing and helping:
Compassion for yourself and your child:
I believe it is challenging for both parent and child when you sub. Sharing MOM or DAD with others is not easy to begin with. Letting MOM or DAD come in to your private school world may also have challenges for children, as they expand parts of themselves out of your context that they may feel shy to expose in your presence. Generally, it is understood that children often regress around their parents to some extent -- wanting to be babied a bit more then usual. Be patient and non-judgmental about this expressive display. Find a compassionate vision toward yourself for the feelings that may bring up in you, and for your child for the experience they are working through. Try to simply be a role model, with equanimity for all the children present, and a loving acknowledgement of your own child within that framework. While it may be challenging, it is also very special for you child, and for all of us, that you are with us.
General Principles:
1. Safety is the first and foremost priority.
a-- Watchful guidance, redirection of action (songs can help), exemplary behavior and gentle reminders are the basic guidelines for behavioral support in the classroom.
b-- When you see an escalating tension in the children's play, step closer, breathe deeper, so the children feel you present as their witness. Try not to take over or mediate unless they actually NEED your help. Often if you wait a moment past the point of tension and discomfort, they figure it out on their own. They may FEEL your presence as a resource and a contributing energy if you are watchful.
c-- Gently stop physically-rough engagement between children. If rough-action is accompanied with tough-emotion, it may be appropriate to coach the children with their communication and feelings. "Are you trying to tell___ something? Use your words." --can be helpful guidance.
d-- The big blue chair is a "feelings chair" to help ground children's intentions when they start getting upset or otherwise out of control.
2.
Health
a-- "Coughing into elbows" is a constant reminder that is important for us to communicate in this season. Keep tissues in your pockets, and an eye out for runny noses all day long.
b-- Usher children to the bathroom or change their diapers if/when necessary
4.
Autonomy and Competence. Step Back. Let us not be "the main characters" or the theme builders of the children's "play". We can set the tone, the example.
a-- speak quietly even if the children are speaking loudly
b-- remind the children about "indoor voices" if they get too consistently loud
c-- get down on knees to be at children's level whenever possible.
d-- say less, do less, interpret less -- this takes deep breath, and loving restraint. Step back quietly from a play-scene. Try not to remain at the center of children's attention during "open play" if possible, but invisibly guide the energies with your "presence."
e-- A few children are not yet masters of deep play and in those cases, adult-play-mates can help those particular children to deepen their focus and engage on new levels. Whenever possible, try to link them to other children by facilitating connections from their impulses and ideas into interactions with other children,
f. You may be helpful in fostering new alliances among the children, so the play groups do not end up excluding children and creating cliques.
e-- When children are sourcing books, try to foster their autonomy with the book. Reading pictures is a first step to reading words. Let them tell the story to themselves, and one another. Even to you. Even if you are holding the book, try to foster their "read" of it. This sometimes requires us to let go of what we think or know the written story to be. (You may also choose to read some actual words to children -- especially rhymes and rhythms that they may enjoy repeating.)
3. Communicating Group Expectations for Children
a-- Avoid yes/no questions when you are looking for a specific response -- for example, if "no" is not an acceptable choice to you, do not offer that possibility.
b-- Instead find "this or that" choices in which all choices presented ARE acceptable to you. For example: "Would you like to sit here or there?" rather then "Can you come to the snack table now?"
c-- Be the role model. This helps acknowledge the "wanted behavior"exhibited by children who are involved with the group agenda, be it clean-up time or circle-time or puppet shows. Create SOCIAL-GRAVITY in the group-events by focusing IN on those whom are present in the group, not on those who are avoiding the group's activity.
d-- At the same time, have an eye out for the stragglers' activity to make sure every child is safe. If they are not eventually drawn in or are very disruptive, you may need to attend to them individually eventually. Or I may, in which case you may offer leadership of a song or story -- it is always good to have a few ideas for this in your mind, in case.
Timing and Tasks
1. Open arrival-- The children are excited and arrival can be full of wild energy. Our work is to welcome them warmly, with calm and quiet joy, simply and lovingly acknowledging each individual. You are welcome to explain to each child why you are staying, since that is out of the ordinary.
We are to remain calm even if they are harried. We keep our voices soft and our movements grounded.
Some tasks that may need to be accomplished in this time are:
*Help children with shoes and coats (note: put hats in sleeves). Coats they will wear later to play outside, go in coat box. Shoes go in the shoe box. If they decide to take off socks or a sweater later, it is good to pick these things up and put them into the "outdoor boxes" as well, or near the back sliding door.
*Get a very warm water in bowl with 8 yellow washcloths, and a lid -- for bread-time.
AND An extra bowl with very hot water (it cools off while we knead bread) -- for after.
*Preheat oven upstairs to 350 degrees
*Fill water bottles for snack with cool water
*Take out flour, bread dough, and large bowl (or cookie sheet from upstairs).
2.
Circle Time-- We sit for a hello song around a sparkling cloth circle. We make agreements about the importance of gentle touch and kind words. We share any special announcements, and sometimes a new game or focusing tool. Try to avoid letting children sit on your lap at this time, if peacefully possible. The territorial issues can disrupt and imbalance the intention of the circle.
One "announcement" made now would be that today you are here all day, to help all children -- sharing a little intro will be nice: "My name is___ and I'm ___'s mommy, and I love to ___."
3.
Bread Kneading--
*All children are expected to come knead the dough. It is our communal work. See yourself as a participant, the role model.
Keep an extra dry wash cloth or two in your lap.
We wash our hands. Help squeeze-and-distribute the warm washcloths for children to wash their hands at the table. Help role up children's sleeves, and take off extra sweaters that can get embedded with flour.
We knead and sing. Sometimes we put raisins in the bread -- and the children know they may nibble on the raisins if they wish to.
We put the small rolls we have made into the bread bowl or cookie sheet.
Then it is time to clean up. It is important that the children stay at the table for this so flour does not get all over the room. While they do this, we can quickly
with a dry cloth collect the extra flour into a central pile. Then offer them a cloth from the HOT water bowl (now warm) and HELP them wash their hands, giving them a lovely hand massage. Encourage them to wash their bread-making area, now that the dry flour has already been collected by your dry towel. Brush off their shirts and pants, before they go to play.
The bread bakes for a half hour or so. One of us will go upstairs, to put bread in the oven, making any necessary adjustments to the shape of the small buns. It's nice to create about 20 small buns. If a child is needing some grounding, they may accompany the cook as a "helper" to create ease for all. Keep track of time, and check it 30 minutes later.
4.
Open Play -- (see above: "General Principles"). This is the "work" of the children. So you may also "work on something" with a gentle and calm focus, even as you witness them. We are being watchful for the group's safety and being PRESENT as their witnessing guide. If you feel idle, you may also prep a few things for #6: snack time.
For example: A new set of water-bowls with new yellow wash cloths must be prepped. (warm water for before snack and hot for after snack) (our dirty washcloths are piled into the big sink as we go through the morning).
5.
Clean Up Song,-- Help identify tasks children can help with. Keep it fun and collective.
* Wooden trucks into the truck basket
* Kitchen items into the kitchen basket
* Nature items on the nature table.
* Cloths in the big box.
Around this time, the bread is ready. Go upstairs with a big bowl and a clean towel, and put the rolls all into a bowl wrapped in the towel, to bring down. Place this on the small wooden table for cooling.
5.
Music and Movement time (this varies in length depending on the extent of their preceding open play time). If you have a special song or movement game you'd like to lead, let me know. That's wonderful. Sometimes we get instruments out and sit down, more focused on song and rhythm. Other times we sing with dance. You are welcome to assert if you have a preference on a day you are with us.
Note: We will steer clear of "holiday specific" songs unless they are requested by children -- staying focused more on the themes of the season and nature (For example: "Jingle Bells" instead of Silent Night or Dradle-Dradle-Dradle).
6.
Snack-Time--
Children gather and often feel hungry at this time. Adults may wish to sit on either end of the table -- with 4 children on each side. It's best if you (and we) remain sitting as much as possible with the children, even as we serve and prep foods. I may get up to get things, so you are providing the GRAVITY. Rituals of song and thanks are expressed to open and close snack.
Rituals: Candle, Hand Holding, Songs, Thanks.
Passing of things: Place mats, Bowls and Cups --
then water jars, rolls, spreading spoons, nut butter
Note: Children pour their own water and spread their own nut butter (and MAY need assistance).
On a place mat at the table, please help cut the apples and the cheese. The children generally prefer the apples cut thin and peeled. Fill a small bowl (not a red bowl) and help them "take one and pass it on."
At snack, we often talk about thankfulness, tell a group story, play a guessing games, or have a group conversation. It is fine for you to share a story from the morning or from your home-meal-rituals. We are modeling interactive skills and meal manners.
As children finish snack, they often linger at the table for nibbling and group interaction. Then we blow out the candle with a rhyme. When the children are ready to leave the table, they are asked (and guided) to clear their places by putting their bowls and cups into the big box. Each child is given a warm cloth to wipe hands AND FACE (often full of nut butter). They may also wash their "place" at the table if they wish to. It is good to check their hands before they leave, so nut-butter does not travel around the room with them. One or two helpers may be called upon to help clear and wash the whole table.
7.
Book Time
We must pull a box of books into the room-center for this independent reading time. The children can get very busy looking at the books. Helping them share books or read to one another here can be lovely. This is also a small window of opportunity to straighten up the room for later. Sometimes this is a nice time for you as a visiting leader, to read to the whole class, if there is a book you really wish to share. Note that this is not too long a period of time usually, but it can be very focused and intense.
8.
Bathroom Check
While books are out, and before coats are on.... this is a good time to check if children need to go to the bathroom. Asking each one individually can be helpful. Some children are autonomous with their bathroom routine, and you must simply stay near to assist. But if you are in the bathroom with a child, it can be useful to keep in mind a childcare-premis that Bathroom time should always be a TRIO of one adult and two children -- even if one child comes as the helper, and just waits with you.
9.
Outside Time
We try to keep our nature-commitment to going outside every day. We must get the coat-box and shoe-box from the hall and bring them onto the rug. Put books away, and help children get bundled up for the cold weather. Teach them the dressing skills, instead of doing it all for them. Helping children become more autonomous with this process is a goal. Shoes first, then coats....
This transition is a whole event in itself. It is not quick can be a little unwieldy, so we need to communicate well within it. You may get ready to go outside, and usher the first set of children out, as I help the last set (or vise versa).
While outside, bring attention to nature: the weather, the ground, the air, the tree, the elements. You may wish to lead nature explorations, games, songs -- think of stimulating gross motor activity, athletic involvement, as well as a connection to nature and the seasonal uniqueness. Eyes out for safety!
10.
Coming in
We sometimes thank nature as we come in, articulating the seasonal dynamics. Encourage children to hold the rail coming down the steps. Encourage children to mindfully keep their warm-clothes together (hats in sleeves) and put them into the coat box (yellow). Shoes go into the shoe box. This can get unwieldy -- help keep track.
11.
Art time
Help support the project's start, but then generally this is good if an adult can spend a few minutes now tending to the rest of the room -- straightening up and setting up the puppet area by spreading out the white furs.
12. Puppet Show
Try not to let children sit on your lap here. Try to help by example unless one child really needs individual assistance. In the middle of the puppet show, there is a resting/dreaming time. Helping the children lie down without invading each others space takes a little assistance. We will cover the children with blankets, lights out. Once it is time to wake up, the puppet show comes to a close and it is time to say goodbye.
13.
Goodbye Song
We gather around our our sparkling circle (same as Hello Circle) and sing our goodbyes.
14.
Pick Up
Parents arrive and children get ready to go. For safety, it is good at this time to be attentive to each child until they have been "matched" with their appropriate adult.
15.
Clean Up
I happily stay to clean up and reorganize. I don't expect you to stay. I am thankful for your reflections, if you wish to share them.
